Novemberly’s blog

Just wanted to wish everyone and their mothers and all mommies... a happy mother's day!!!

Have Goodness!
Rae

5 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman
Stay Out of Trouble
Courtesy of Men's Health

Women freak out. Often at you. Often for no discernible reason. You say
something that you consider totally innocuous, or even downright nice,
only to find that you've offended, enraged, or annoyed us.

Your first problem -- being attracted to women, a very weird group of people --
is not going to go away. But here's a problem you can solve: word choice. You
need to know the phrases that, once introduced to her volatile atmosphere, will
result in explosion (or quiet contempt -- no picnic either). Then you need to strike
them from your vocabulary.

Warning: Some of these absolute no-no words and phrases seem so incredibly
harmless, you may think we're kidding. We're not.

Forbidden Phrase 1: "Relax."
It might seem logical to you to tell a woman who's freaking out to relax. And if
"logical" meant the same thing as "stupidest idea ever," you'd be correct.
Understand, a woman screaming and carrying on in anger or frustration or panic
thinks that her response is 100 percent appropriate. If the inciting situation has
anything to do with you, she feels she has a responsibility to freak out extra to
compensate for your maddening calm.

So when you tell her to relax, you're implying that your response --i.e., nothing--
is correct. You're denying that there's a reason to be upset. You're telling her
she's crazy. Women may sometimes feel crazy and joke about it, but anything
smacking of accusations of being crazy will be far from soothing.

Say..."I'm just as upset about this as you are. Let's deal with it together." This way
she knows you're totally sympathetic. This should help her to...oh, God...relax.

Forbidden Phrase 2: "I love you." (During a fight)
In movies, "I love you" is usually employed by men during I-love-you appropriate
situations -- lovemaking, walks on the beach, airport reunions. In real life, a
woman hears "I love you" most often at that point in a fight when she desperately
wants to get to the heart of the issue, and when you desperately want to stop this
nonsense and watch Lost -- which you don't normally even watch.

When you come home shirtless from a bachelor party or forget our birthdays and
stand there in the face of our rage and crushing disappointment, do you really
believe that merely stating the powerful existence of your love is going to make
everything okay? Because it's not.

Say...
1. "[Insert detailed explanation of what you did and why you did it.]"
2. "It won't happen again."
3. "I love you." (It's okay at the end of the apology, just not at the beginning.)
And when you go to a bachelor party, take along an extra shirt.

Forbidden Phrase 3: "It's up to you." (a.k.a. "Whatever you want to do is fine with me.")
Relationships are full of decisions. You decide where to eat, where to go on
vacation, where to send your child to preschool. Most men wouldn't dream of
looking at their wife or girlfriend and saying, "You know what? I just don't care."
They would, however, say, "It's up to you." And find themselves in a world of hurt
they never saw coming.

Men think of decision-making as work without pay. For women, it's like
window-shopping for life's possibilities, and we want you to help us shop. So
when you say, "It's up to you," we feel abandoned.

Say... "I could definitely do A or B, but I'm not crazy about C. What are you
thinking?" This shows you're listening, suggests you care, and gets you out of
deciding.

Forbidden Phrase 4: "You knew I was this way when you married me."
Well, the truth is that we didn't. Or we knew deep down, but we were so busy
enjoying our fantasy of you that we chose to ignore what was really there. It's not
your fault. It's just that when we were little, we spent so much time daydreaming
about having the perfect life. Now that we're actually in grown-up life, we can't
turn off our daydreaming switch.

Telling a woman, "You knew I was this way when you married me" is like saying
the way your life is right now is the way it's going to be forever and ever. And that
may well be true--in many wonderful and not-so-wonderful ways. But if she were
to accept that, a little part of her would die.

Say... "It frustrates me, too -- and I'm working on it." It's a lie. That's okay.

Forbidden Phrase 5: (Nothing)
At times, you may be afraid of saying the wrong thing. You may think, If I just
keep my mouth shut, I'll be okay. Well, no. Imagine you're pitching in a baseball
game in which there is no hitter, not even a catcher. You would not enjoy that.
Imagine yourself, head hanging, going to retrieve the ball yourself and, once again,
throwing it to no one. That's how we feel when you don't talk to us.

Say... Anything. Throw the ball back. Throw it badly. Even risk throwing a wild
pitch and letting her take an extra base. But keep your head in the game.

THE MAGIC WORDS: 3 Instant Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Cards
When a woman wants to kill you, you have one thing going for you: Deep down,
a tiny part of her wants you to make her not do it. She just might put down the
apple slicer if you say one of the following sentences.

"Just tell me everything."
I don't think a man has ever actually uttered this statement, so make history.
Here's the thing: Our most violent anger is often the result of anticipating being
forced to shut up. So once we're told we can give our entire, endless account --
no rushing or defending ourselves -- we cool off. Side benefit: We also get a little
intimidated. We think, Is this part important or interesting or relevant? We edit
ourselves.

"You are just so beautiful."
The trick: You must say it as if it's just occurring to you at the moment, as if her
pulchritude were a rainbow suddenly in your path, the stunningness of which has
left you incapacitated, emotionally stunted, but in a good way. Say it as if you can
remember little else -- certainly not whatever irksome matter you were just
discussing. Works well as an alternative to "I love you" -- but, the same way
butter makes anything taste better, it's all-purpose.

"Sorry. It was all my fault."
So classic. So hard to say. Because it's never all your fault, of course -- and it's a
very rare case in which she shouldn't also say she's sorry. Everyone likes to save
face, especially men. But truly, there is nothing hotter to a woman than a man
who's willing to admit he was wrong because he just loves her so damn much.
You might feel like you're losing her respect, but unless you're always the one to
apologize (which means you have a crazy lady on your hands), trust me, you're
gaining it.

I heard ’Love Song’ and fell in love with it instantly... very cool... but then the sweet Jamie posted lyrics to ’Fairytale’ so liking the lyrics I had to search for the song... and goodness... I love me some more of Sara Bareilles... so here is a post inspired by Jamie and my love for Sara Bareilles.

If you could teleport to any place in the world right this second, where would you go?

Adam Levine's pants?  LOL!

I really have no idea.  I mean, if it existed for me at the moment, someplace happier and better... someplace with less drama and stress, and someplace where I didn't feel I'd be homeless in two weeks.

And in a dream world, I'd be in a loving relationship with Adam Levine... he'd be giving me what I needed right now... just loving me and holding me.  I haven't been held in such a long time.

... but does anyone use or know anything about FLOCK (http://www.flock.com/) that they'd care to share with me?

I'm truly curious about it myself, but I'd like some opinions.

Thanks.

Signed,
The "currently straightened soon to be curly again" Management

What do you do when you find yourself with nothing to do?
Submitted by Cassie.

I usually remain bored.

I try to find things to do like read or play on the computer or even hang out with friends... but sometimes books can only do so much and the computer's not working and all your friends are out of town or something.

Currently I've been spending a lot of time trying to find a place to live before the end of the month.  A friend of mine and her boyfriend (also a friend) have offered to let me sleep on their couch and shove my stuff in storage while I find a place for myself to live.  I've been looking for rooms to rent, and so far I've found nothing.  I'm trying REALLY hard to stay positive, but alas... it's getting really really hard to do so.

There's other drama going on in my life... so I'm tending to that when I have nothing else to do... to distract me from my life being utter shit.

La la la...

Sorry for the 'grrrr' part of the post... I'm feeling a little stressed lately.

Um... I'm not sure about the first choice although I do enjoy my top three... LOL!!!

Are you watching the Super Bowl today?  Who are you watching it with, and which team do you want to win?

Yes I'm watching the Super Bowl today.

I'm watching it with friends that I've already known and recent ones I met the day of the Green Bay/Giants game.

As for the team I want to win?  I dunno... Giants, I guess.  It doesn't really matter.  It's the company I most enjoy... as well as the food, commercial and half-time show.